Nicole vs. Life
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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