good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
