Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
