i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
