i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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