I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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