He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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