After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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