sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize