it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Sorry about my life...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
