I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
