I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
