i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
