I want you more than these girls want KFC
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
