There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
