Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
