love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
