I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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