You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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