he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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