I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize