I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
