Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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