If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize