What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
