when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just had sex on a roof
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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