At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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