stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize