then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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