dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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