Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
