David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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