ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.

  Fav 16 1157 3802

  share tweet
  

• (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night

  Fav 9 5254 1533

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (718): View more from New York

  Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.

  Fav 13 6863 1945

  share tweet
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

  Fav 10 1475 3937

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.

  Fav 8 4925 1329

  share tweet
  

• (404): View more from Georgia

  Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?

  Fav 4 4934 2052

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.

  Fav 9 3222 1827

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.

  Fav 4 2142 1026

  share tweet
  

• (914): View more from New York

  Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man

  Fav 7 2069 835

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background

  Fav 1 720 548

  share tweet
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

  Fav 2 1057 790

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (636): View more from Missouri

  2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Please tell me those aren't related.

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I made rice.

  Fav 2 734 1460

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."

  Fav 8 1407 624

  share tweet
  

• (763): View more from Minnesota

  He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....

  Fav 1 509 402

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (757): View more from Virginia

  Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How

  Fav 0 533 255

  share tweet
  

Randomize