It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
