plz talk dirty to me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
