If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
