Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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