It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
