what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
