home. puking in laundry basket.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
