I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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