I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
