What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so let's talk penis.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
