Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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