What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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