Someone shit on the floor
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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