Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
