You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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