please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
