i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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