Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
