I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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