Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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