grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
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Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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