i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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