Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
