absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
