Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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