it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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