My friends, they love my intelligence
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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