Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She needs sedatives and a leash
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
