Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
