I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
