Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
