just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
