You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
